6.5

Olivia turned six and a half recently and I wanted to take a minute to write about our girl.  At 6 ½ Olivia is in such a great place.  Matt and I have both commented lately what a nice groove our family has gotten in – and a big part of that is due to Olivia.

Much to my GREAT delight, she is still a mamma’s girl.  I know that our time together has been limited since Eric arrived and I can tell she really cherishes moments of mommy/Olivia time.  Most regularly, we have been bonding at night time as Olivia has grown to love the Babysitters Club books as much as I did when I was little.  She laughs out loud when I read them to her and begs for “just one more chapter! Please mommy!”  She loves to snuggle and Matt’s constant travel provides regular opportunities for her to sleep in my bed and get all the mommy snuggles she can handle.  Desipte our king size bed, she will sleep as close to me as possible without actually sleeping on top of  me and counts it as a victory if we wake up cuddling.  Another activity she likes to do is get dolled up with me.  She calls it “Persis’ salon” and any time there is even the smallest opportunity to get fancy, she begs for the salon treatment – I wash her hair and blow-dry/braid it, put lotion on her, put make up on her, and help her pick out a fancy dress.  As much as she likes this time with me, I know I love it even more because I get to hear all her smart and funny thoughts on life.  Whenever we take trips these days, we get a hotel room with 2 beds and let Olivia choose who she wants to sleep with – by herself, daddy or mommy.  And she always picks mommy.  We recently went to Austin for Spring Break and on the last night Matt was lying in bed with her, rubbing her back.  He asked her if she wanted him to leave or stay since they were already snuggled up and she had slept with me for the past 2 nights.  Through half-closed eyes and a tired voice, she assuredly said “Daddy.  I want you to leave.  Do not stay in this bed.  I want to sleep with mommy.  Make sure you leave so mommy can sleep with me.” 

But, her heart no longer beats just for mommy.  Matt and Olivia have a super special bond that centers around music (Matt teaches her the top alternative songs of the week and Olivia schools him on her favorite singer Emily Arrow), math (Olivia’s favorite party trick is showing off multiplication and algebra skills), sports (these 2 love to go in the backyard and play tennis or softball), and Olivia’s love of being carried and thrown around by her daddy.

Olivia has settled into her role as big sister and loves Eric so much.  She is happiest when he is only paying attention to her and gets pretty upset if he wants mamma (ironic since they are the exact same in this regard).  She really looks out for him and loves to make him laugh.  As he gets more mobile, she is liking chasing him around the house and teaching him new things.  She also loves to make believe the 2 of them are in this secret club set up solely to drive me crazy.  For instance, while he is eating dinner if Eric starts to throw food on the floor or make a mess, she will say “Oh!  Good job Eric!  Just like I told you.” and then crack up laughing.

The new favorite thing to do with him is "Secret Sibling Club" where they will go into my room and Matt and I aren't allowed to come in.  I'm not sure exactly what they're doing but they both seem to like it.  One day I was listening at the door and I heard her say "Okay Eric.  This is how you have a tea party.  No.  No Eric.  Don't drink it yet.  Leave it there.  I have to pour the tea.  Okay Eric now you can get it.  Good!  Good job baby Eric!  Oh remember - pinkey's out!"  Another time they came out with "dessert" for all of us with a bunch of pretend food.  I call those times a win-win - sibling bonding time for them, and a few minutes of quiet for mamma! ;)

Academically, Olivia is thriving at school.  We had our mid-year parent-teacher conference and were so happy to hear about all the things she is learning about, read the stories she had written, and take a peek at her journal (the very first writing was about how much she loves her mommy!).  We sat and listened with wide-eyed adoration as her teacher described Olivia as a good friend, polite and creative, a passionate reader/writer, a hard worker, and a quiet leader in her class.  There were so many lines in her report card that I loved because I felt like her teachers really knew and understood her true personality, but my absolute favorite was when her teacher commented that Olivia is very aware of the daily routine of the class and observant to any deviations from that routine.  That is just classic Olivia who has always been a creature of habit and thrown by anything out of her routine.

 

That being said, Olivia also has gotten more comfortable with her friends at Kinkaid and braver about playing with them.  At the beginning of the year she got invited to a playdate at a new friend’s house.  Matt and I were SO relieved because we knew making friends would be key to her success at school.  But our girl was worried and nervous and refused to go unless mamma came too.  So I did.  And then when she was invited back, Olivia again refused to go without me.  So, like any good parenting book would recommend, we bribed her with a trip to the American Girl Doll store.  She begrudgingly went and ended up having a good time, but I had to peel her off of me and basically run out the door.  But now, she is excited to go to her friend’s houses.  She has a playdate coming up with a friend who’s mom is going to pick her up from school and bring her to her house for the playdate.  And, of course, guess who is nervous now?  Of course.  Mamma.  But I’m trying not to let it show.

Olivia has also ventured out into the world of softball – another example of her new found courage.  Again, at the beginning of the year, almost every Kindergarten girl at Kinkaid played soccer together.  I begged Olivia to play, promising all sorts of comforts and assurances.  But she was steadfast in her refusal (which I sort of admired).  And just like that, 6 months later, I mentioned that a few girls were playing softball and asked her if she wanted to play too.  She immediately said yes and has been excited about it ever since.  (That being said, at the first practice she was walking to the field holding Matt’s hand, while I pushed Eric in the stroller behind them.  Just as they were about to step foot on the field, she dropped Matt’s hand and ran back to hold mine.  But she really seems to be enjoying the game so far – she is excited for practices and constantly tries to teach me softball lingo & moves.

 

Baby dolls still reign supreme for playtime.  Olivia recently saved up all her money (let’s be honest, I’m gonna say 75% of it was straight from Popo’s wallet ;) and bought her very own American Girl Doll.  As you may guess, there was lots of angst and hand wringing and lists made on which doll to choose, but ultimately she decided on a Truly Me doll which she named Mia (to coordinate with her other “a” AG dolls – Willa, Camilla, Ava, Ella).

I continue to count my blessings that I am lucky enough to be the mamma of this sweet little pumpkin.  I can’t wait to see what the next few months hold for her!

She Persisted

For Olivia’s birthday I got her a copy of She Persisted: 13 American Women Who Changed the World, a new book by Chelsea Clinton. 

I wrote her a little note inside telling her how much I love her and how I believe she will grow up and change the world.  Much to my delight, she LOVED the book and frequently chooses it for a bedtime story.  So when I heard Chelsea was coming to Houston to promote her newest book - She Persisted Around the World: 13 Women Who Changed History, I made sure to get us tickets for the event.

It was honestly one of the best nights we have ever had – one of those rare nights where everything just falls into place.  I was a little worried because she had ballet class before that and usually comes home hungry and exhausted.  But, that didn’t happen.  Instead she bounded through the door, huge smile on her face, ran upstairs to change and came down 2 minutes later ready to go!

When we pulled up to the bookstore, the line was wrapped around the block.  I got a little worried but we checked in, got our tickets and waited.  Thankfully, the event was super well-organized and the line moved quickly.  We spent the time waiting reading our new book.  By the time we got up to the front, Olivia was in full on “fan girl” mode to meet Chelsea - she was squeezing my hand, grinning from ear to ear, and quietly squealing.   

And, for her part, Chelsea could not have been kinder or more gracious.  She took the time to ask Olivia a few questions and let Olivia ask her some.

After that, we went to grab a late dinner.  It was some of the sweetest time with my daughter that I’ve ever had.  She was super lovey and snuggly; she sat next to me in the booth and repeatedly hugged and kissed me and told me how much she loved me.  I don’t know if she was exhausted from the day or on an adrenaline high, but I’ll take it all day long.  We talked about being a girl and what that means to her, and how being a girl has affected me and my life/career.  We talked about being a mommy and balancing work and home.  She was thoughtful and hopeful in her questions and comments.

At this very difficult time in our country, I worry about my kids and what the future looks like for them.  Olivia has picked up on some of those worries and feels them too.  But, what I told Olivia at the end of the night is that we have to be optimistic.  We talked about the fact that so many people believe the same things we do - in our family we know we can always talk to Grandpa and Aunt Yasmin, and so many of our closest friends are raising their children to be kind, responsible, generous and smart.  We talked about the students from Parkland who are still kids themselves but are taking on some of the most difficult issues in this country with poise, determination and bravery.  We discussed how change is slow, but that when good people fight for a noble cause, they usually win.  I promised her that daddy and I would keep fighting and working and asked her if she would too.  She agreed and we ended the night by concluding that we think everything is going to be okay.  (It just has to!)

Musings from a 38 year old mamma

This post is really more for the memory book. For the kids to see what mamma was thinking about when they were little.

At Eric’s 9 month well visit, our pediatrician noted that while Olivia developed separation anxiety around 6 months old, it usually pops up around 9/10 months so we should be on the lookout. As he realizes the concept of permanence – i.e. people exist even when they're not physically present in the room – he will want and miss the people he’s become attached to.

Like clock-work, a week or so later, we started noticing that if I left the room, Eric would begin to cry. Like magic, as soon as I walk back in and pick him up, it’s all better. This is a familiar game to us – one that we still play to some extent with Olivia. Just like Olivia, Eric is also attached to his favorite teacher at school – Miss Shatavia. He cries if she leaves the room, if she isn’t there when we arrive in the morning, and if she plays with or holds another baby.

As Matt and I were discussing Eric’s attachment to Miss Shatavia and Olivia’s attachment to her first teacher, Miss Sam, it got me thinking about the term “attachment.” It’s an interesting connotative term – depending on the tone and context, it can have a positive or negative inference. And for me, the entire emotion has at times seemed a little overwhelming. 

I have a very distinct memory of being in college during the beginning phase of dating Matt and walking home from his apartment feeling almost physically overwhelmed by how attached I was to him. And not in a good way - it worried me and made me uncomfortable. I had never really felt that attached to someone before and at 19 years old, I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. Though our relationship took some twists and turns, lucky for me, things turned out okay with my attachment to that guy. 

I never felt those complex feelings again until September of 2011 when Miss O was born. And again, it surprised me and made me uneasy. In those early weeks of being a new mom, I had so many emotions that I felt so strongly that I was again almost physically uncomfortable from them. When she was about a month old, I was talking on the phone to someone I was close to and that person observed that I was “too attached” to Olivia. She meant it in a negative way. I brushed off the comment on the phone, but it stuck with me. I obsessed over it a little and I guess I still do. And after 6 ½ years with my girl, I think she was right. I was/am compulsively, frantically, obsessively, whole-heartedly attached to Olivia. But now, those feelings don’t make me uncomfortable at all. In fact, I hope and pray those strong and faithful feelings never fade. She is just one of my favorite people in the world and I hope she always knows how attached I am to her – that I’m just her biggest fan and will always here to listen, to talk to, to go with her wherever she wants, to cry or laugh with her. To just BE with her. As she gets older and finds her place in this world, I hope that my constant attachment and support of her will be a source of comfort and consistency.

I’ve written before about how my extreme joy with finding out we were pregnant with Eric was tempered with nervousness over whether I would be as attached to him as I was to Olivia. So when those intense and powerful feelings of attachment showed up in the days following his birth, I was relieved and thankful. No longer did they make me uneasy, I now was comfortable in this deep motherly love for my babe. In his 9 months with us, Eric has filled a place in my heart that I hoped he would and bonded with me in a way I longed for. I now wear the moniker of “attached” as a badge of honor.

As I recently celebrated my 38th birthday, I feel happy and lucky to say that I am hopelessly attached to these people (and fortunately for me, I think they return the feeling) and I couldn’t be more contented.

9 Months With Eric

Y'all.  This baby?!  Those cheeks?  That smile?  His eyebrows?!  I just can't.  I have a very real sense that he is getting bigger by the minute and while I know good things are coming and each age has its own set of wonderful things, I am trying to remember and soak-up and enjoy EVERY MINUTE with this little miracle baby I longed for!

At 9 months, Eric is ONE BUSY GUY!

He is on the go and VERY CURIOUS.  Pulling all the books off the shelf is very funny!

He will basically try to stand up on anything - whether it can support his weight or not.  I can't count the number of times he has fallen face first off this piano.  Yet he is never deterred and continues to try and stand up on it.  Most recently, I placed him on the blanket in the living room and ran to the kitchen to grab my coffee.  When I came back he was half-way to the bathroom.  I brought him back and he immediately went to a chair of Olivia's which also cannot support his weight.  The chair fell on him and he fell backwards.  But never cried until I moved the chair upstairs.

The other day when I got to school to feed him at lunchtime, his teachers said "We have a picture for you mom!" and showed me this picture:

They said he was over by the bookshelf working hard to stand up and finally did it!  They were all so excited and snapped this picture.  But then...

Apparently what goes up, must come down.  He was fine - just a little scratch on his cheek.  And I'm guessing this won't be the first.  Nevertheless, his teachers were very proud of him!

Also, gone are the days of  his army crawl.  He's now mastered a regular old baby crawl like a champ.

Here he is on his way to the back door.  For some reason, he always seems to crawl there.  Not sure where he wants to go, or what he's looking for, but that's usually where he winds up (if not there, then look for him to find the one stray cord I haven't covered up yet!)

Eric is no longer content to sit on a blanket in the living room/his walker/highchair while I cook.  He would prefer to be held

But if that isn't an option,he likes to crawl around me in the kitchen.  One of his favorite activities is biting on the cabinets

If Olivia plays with him, he is happy to sit with her for as long as she will stay 

Sidenote: I was worried before he was born that the age gap between them would be too big and wondered if they would play together.  My worry was for naught...

Here Olivia is conducting a "competition" in which she turns on all of these noisy toys and Eric is supposed to crawl to the one he likes best.  In reality, Eric was completely over-stimulated by all the noise/jumping/singing/dancing and sat there staring unable to move...

Thanks to some nicer weather, we have been back outside lately at the park.  Both these babes love a good swing!

I altered my schedule at work once Olivia started Kindergarten and now I work 5 days a week from 8-3.  That gives me a chance to get Olivia and get home fairly early.  I would say most days we are home by 4ish.  The next few hours are a fast blur of dinner/baths/books/bed.  And while I find that most night Matt and I fall into bed by the time both kids are down and the house is cleaned up, I've gotta say that one of my favorite parts of the day is when Eric and I go in to get Olivia.  If we picked her up at carpool, we would wait in the car and the teachers bring her to the car.  But, because we pick her up from after-care, we get to park and walk inside.  Initially, I thought this would be a pain with Eric.  But its actually so precious.  Eric is so happy and smiley - most of the teachers/staff know his name now and he greets each one daily with a huge grin and now lots of babbling.  And as soon as he sees Olivia, his little legs start kicking and he extends his arms for her to hold him.  Its pretty cute if I do say so myself.  Here's the happy pair one Friday afternoon!

Sometimes I think Olivia thinks of Eric as her very own real life babydoll.  And, just like her babydolls, sometimes he needs to be dressed up.  He seems less than happy with her choices...

We had a little bit of set-back on food.  While initially he was eating anything I put in front of him, I guess his tastes have become a little more discerning lately.  There was about a week where he wouldn't really eat solid foods.  But just as suddenly as it began, the strike ended with some spinach & mangoes!

We have also been introducing lots of new solid foods.  Every morning he and Olivia enjoy their Cheerios together

And we introduced him to the wonder of pizza crust!

While we once called him Little Mouse because he was so quiet, that is no longer the case.  Baby Eric makes his voice heard these days.  Most often when he is done with or wants more of a certain food!

(Here I believe he was telling me to get those bananas off his tray because he wants spaghetti like his sister!)

Sleeping has been our biggest news-breaker this month.  After our dear bffs the McGuire's recommended an angel from Heaven a sleep therapist, I am happy to report that Eric is sleeping CONSIDERABLY better.  He goes to sleep around 6 pm, wakes up to eat at 10ish to eat, and then he goes back to sleep till around 6/6:30!!  I am sure some other bump in the road will pop up, but for now I'm basking in the glow of my EIGHT hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.

And, he has two little teeth on the bottom!

We love you so much Eric!  Happy 9 months!