Friday, August 25, 2017

Welcome to Kinkaid

Like her mommy, Olivia is a creature of habit and most comfortable in familiar settings.  So, my mommy stress about all the changes this summer was at CODE RED!  New house, new baby, new school.

A few weeks before she left Cathedral House, she began voicing some anxiety about leaving.  Once she left, her need for mamma grew much stronger.  She refused to go to a week of "fun camp" (literally, this is what it was called - it was pool time and arts/crafts) at our local club WITH her best friend Emma.  Refused to go.  She also opted out of playdates where mommy couldn't come and she nearly had a melt down to go to lunch with Mimi and Grandpa because I was going.  (Only a bribe of going to the American Girl Doll store was able to save that lunch!).  So Matt and I were in a near panic in the days before Kinder started.  At one point she told Matt "no thanks" in response to Kinder.  As if he offered her some Goldfish.  No thanks.

We also got this note from her a few days before school started. "Hi mom.  I have some butterflies in my tummy and I am a little scared.  xoxo, Olivia."  I mean...the spelling is the best thing ever.  As is that she signed it "xoxo, Olivia."   Second only to how she was able to articulate her nerves.



The first step was New Student Orientation on the Friday before school.  As you may suspect, there was a LOT of thought put into this outfit.  I think it was perfect!

At this event, parents were invited too.  We prepped her hard before hand - looking at pictures of all the teachers on line, going over the way we act when we meet an adult (shake their hand, look them in their eye, answer questions clearly).  So we summoned all our courage and off we went.  And, all that worry for nothing!  IT WENT GREAT!  We walked in and the principal, vice principal and various specialist teachers (librarian, computer, science, music) were there to greet us.  She got a name tag as soon as she arrived, so as we entered the library, everyone greeted her "Hi Olivia!"  The Vice Principal took her hand and asked her if she wanted to meet her teacher (an event we did not think was going to happen).  She excitedly said yes and they led us to the wonderful Mrs. Hayden, who greeted Olivia with a big, warm hug and exclaimed how excited she was to have Olivia in her class.  She then introduced Olivia to the other kids standing around her, all of who were also in her class.  Olivia immediately recognized a little girl named Isabella.  She pointed her out and told me Isabella was at her interview and it jogged all our memory.  Luckily, Olivia's timidness was balanced out by Isabella's outgoing personality.  As the principal announced that the kids would be going back with the teachers for a few minutes, I saw Olivia's eyes grow wide and fill with tears.  But before those tears could slip out of her eyes, Isabella grabbed one hand and Mrs. Hayden grabbed the other and whisked her off.  I stood back, nodding encouragingly and promising to stay right there and wait for her.  About 30 minutes later, we saw the kids coming and Olivia was at the front of the line, holding Mrs. Hayden's hand.  She ran up to me and said "I had so much fun!! They have babydolls in the class!"

School started the following Tuesday.  She woke up very excited.  We had breakfast, got dressed and we all headed out.





As we walked into the school, we arrived a few minutes before 7:45, so we were ushered into the gym where we were greeted by the Vice Principal, Mrs. Lemon.

I could see Olivia's excitement turn to anxiety.  Mrs. Lemon kneeled down and said "Remind me of your name."  She quietly said, "Olivia."  Mrs. Lemon said "Hi Olivia.  You can stay here till 7:45 and then you can go to class.  Your mommy and daddy can wait with you.  Do you remember my name?"  And without missing a beat, Olivia said "Yes, its Jill."  UMMM.  MRS. LEMON quickly smiled and said "Yes my name is Mrs. Lemon."  (We had a chat that night about how you call elders by their last name as a sign of respect - she's still skeptical of this tradition).

We waited for a few minutes and Matt and I gave each other worried looks.  Finally it was time to go and we walked her to her room.  The teachers were standing at the door to greet the kids and Mrs. Hayden took her hand as soon as we go to the door.  It seemed like a good time to slip out, so we started to leave.  Before we got 5 steps down the hall, we heard "MOMMY!" and Olivia ran out crying after us.  It took lots of hugs, kisses and cajoling, but she finally went back into the room, sat down and agreed to stay while we left.


She only had school till noon that day, and I was SO glad for the short day.  I got in line for carpool pick up early and nervously waited for her.  She was fine!  She got into the car and told me what a fun day she had, some friends she made and that they have iPads in the classroom.  As I'm writing this post, we are about a month into school and in that short time I feel pretty safe in saying that I think Olivia is going to be okay and is right where she needs to be.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Lazy August

Since Olivia left CHES at the end of July and didn't start Kinkaid until the end of August, she had about 3 weeks at home with baby Eric and I.  I had been looking forward to these weeks all during my pregnancy.  I had dreamy, blissful, unrealistic ideas of Olivia and I reading/crafting/playing during Eric's naps and then enjoying his newborn cuteness while he was awake.  Truth be told, these few weeks were harder than I thought they would be.  Eric had not taken to a schedule as easily as Olivia did, so there were many moments when he needed me at the same time she did.  Which of course resulted in frustration all around.

But, I think its safe to say that her moments of jealousy lasted far shorter than my moments of guilt during those 3 weeks (which really turned into longer thanks to Hurricane Harvey!).  But, we worked our way through each day the best we could.  In the end, I hope that she will think of that time fondly, because I know I will.  Those were the beginning days of our new little family of 4 - a time in which we both learned that there was a new member of the family who had needs that must be tended to, but hopefully Olivia also felt safe and that her needs were tended to as well.

We purposefully kept things quiet and low-key.

We snuggled babies (real and of the doll variety)



One regular outing that became probably my favorite tradition of the summer was our Wednesday mornings at Barnes & Noble. We would go early to Starbucks to get breakfast and then while brother slept in the stroller, Olivia and I would read. She picked a series called Ivy & Bean and I read her the books. I just love sharing that with her, hearing her laugh at funny parts, trying to make the voices so that the story comes to life for her, and seeing her get excited about the next chapter or next book. It was in these moments that the 6 year age difference seemed very real. I literally had a nursing baby in one hand and my daughter reading chapter books in the other. I won't get mushy about B&N, but those days made me painfully aware of how quickly these little babes grow up, while at the same time painfully happy at just how cool they become as they grow up.

My dad told me that this day was Lazy Day (who knew that was a thing?!).  We weren't aware of the holiday at the time, but we still managed to embrace it.  I had high hopes of lots more group naps than actually occurred (we only had this one...sigh....).  But I did manage to document it.  And...yes...this baby smiles in his sleep (all the heart eyes...)

My friend Emily gave them these coordinated Big Sis/Little Brother shirts that Eric was big enough to fit into!

My friend Erica gave me the idea for makeover parties.  Basically I let Olivia wear any make up of mine she wants and then she gets to give me a make-over.  I can't really explain how much she loved it.  After probably the hardest afternoon I've ever had with her, I remembered the idea and proposed it for the following day.  I woke up the next morning, vowing it would be better than the day before.  And, thank goodness for my tender mamma heart, it was.  And I attribute most of her excitement that day to the makeovers!


We spent lots of days in our PJs watching movies


Erica came for a much needed and super lovey visit!


Mimi & Grandpa spent some time with us too!


Because she has to wear uniforms to school (THANK GOODNESS), the only thing she has control over is her hair.  So...we practiced various 'do's.

And, on one of the last days before school started, I found this on the table.  "I love mommy so much that I want to marry her.  She is beautiful.  xoxo, Olivia"  (CUE ALL THE MOMMY TEARS).

So, it wasn't always calm and the model of perfect parenting, but it was real and fun and silly and sweet and I made sure the days always ended with lots of cuddles and love before bedtime.  I just loved my special month with these 2 monkeys!

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Goodbye to Cathedral House

Since before Eric was born, Olivia and I planned that her last day at Cathedral House would be the end of July and that would give her 3 weeks at home before she started Kindergarten.

Unsurprisingly, she had specific ideas for her last day at Cathedral House.  She wanted to bring Eric up to meet her friends, she wanted to bring donuts for the class, and flowers for her teachers.

It was a precious and perfect morning.  By the time we got to school, all her friends were sitting on the circle rug waiting for her.  She go to hold Eric and say a few things about him and then 2 by 2, each of her friends got to come closer to see Eric and ask questions about him.  Most of the questions were how old is he, how much does he weigh, can he talk...










One  last hug for Ms. Teri.

And of course we had to get a picture with Officer Kevin.  He (and Officer Charles who retired earlier this year) have been a constant source of happiness in the mornings for Olivia and I!  Since she was a baby, she has been thrilled each morning to see these officers.  They knew her name and class, that she has a daddy that plays poker and that she loves princesses.  They wished her on her birthday, held umbrellas for us when it was raining and, most importantly, made us feel safe.

And feeling safe is probably the best way to describe our time at CHES.  This place feels safe to me - and what more could a working mamma ask for when it comes to leaving her babies?